Going through the bereavement process can feel different from person to person. People mourn in different ways and grief looks different for each and every person. At Bradshaw-Carter, we understand this and we're here to help you find meaning in the way you grieve, in the way that's right for you.
When it comes to facilitating grief, we can help point you to Houston-area resources specific to your situation. Call us today or stop by to visit with one of our staff members on how the grieving process can be a healthy, healing time.
Grief makes people uncomfortable. That's ok.
It's not uncommon to hear people say, "I don't know what to say at a visitation". That is normal. A loss can take people off guard. Your caution likely shows that you merely do not want to upset someone more than necessary. Fear of an awkward interaction need not keep you from showing your support.
Here are some examples of what NOT to say:
•"He's in a better place."
•"I know what you're going through, I lost my husband 10 years ago and it felt awful."
•"Don't worry, you'll get over it."
•"You still have time to get remarried (or have another child)."
•"At least he didn't suffer."
•"You have to be strong right now".
•"God only gives you what you can handle."
Phrases like these may mean well, but they can often have a negative impact on the person who has lost a loved one.
Instead, just let someone know you're there to show your support:
•"Jim is a wonderful man, and a great dad. It was such an honor to have him as a friend."
•"I learned so much from your mom. I'm so glad she was a great mentor to me. Know that I'll always remember what she did for me."
•"I can't imagine what this must feel like for you to have experienced such a loss - but know that I'm here for you."
•"I will always have great memories of Susan."
•"If you need anything next week, let me know. Call me and we'll go out for lunch when things calm down after the funeral."
•"If you're ready to talk or if you want to get things off your chest, know I'm here for you."
Sometimes, being a supportive friend means not saying anything at all. People often just need someone to be a good listener.
In times of crisis or complicated grief, professional help can offer healing to those who've experienced a traumatic loss. We have provided some helpful grief support links below:
Crisis, Grief and Healing
Webhealing.com, the first interactive grief website on the internet, offers discussion boards, articles, book suggestions, and advice for men and women working through every aspect of grief. The site’s founder, Tom Golden LCSW, has provided book excerpts and contact information to help those healing from loss.
Willowgreen offers support and information for those dealing with life transition & aging, illness & caregiving, loss & grief, and hope & spirituality. The site offers advice, products, and inspirational materials.
The American Association of Retired Persons (AARP) website contains a Grief & Loss section with grief-related articles and information.
Growth House is an award-winning website that offers international resources for life-threatening illnesses and end of life care. The site features hypertext topic pages that explain major issues across the spectrum of hospice and home care, palliative care, pain management, grief, death with dignity, and quality improvement. It also offers disease-specific guides, an online bookstore, and even their own radio station.
The National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization’s website provides a host of information and resources for people facing a life-limiting illness or injury and their caregivers.